D3 body, D1 cock
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
is wine microwaveable?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
