part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
