Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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