She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
