i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
