You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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