dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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