You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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