gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
