He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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