she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
