No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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