areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
