I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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