We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
