the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
