I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
