hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
