so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
