Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
