me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
