im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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