found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
