So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
