WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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