There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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