plz talk dirty to me
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Randomize
