i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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