I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
