ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize