I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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