were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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