I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
