I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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