Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
one two three fourrrrnication!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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