No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
