Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
