We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
