she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
