He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
