as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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