My vagina just recognized that song.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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