I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
