Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
