she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
