love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
