ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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