I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
