I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
