Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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