guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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