idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i barfeds in our rink
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
