K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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