OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
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