Can Purell be used as lube?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
